A Series of What If
by CJFAA
Summary: Individual stories around the premise of what if. No story will be more than three chapters long.
1. Chapter 1 Backtrack

**BACTRACK**

 **Summary: What if Ana had not backtracked when she told Christian she felt the same way about punishments the way he felt about being touched. Two Shot.**

"Anyone would think you didn't want me to catch you."

"I don't. That's the point, I feel about punishments the way you feel about my touching you." His demeanor changes in a nanosecond. Gone is the playful Christian, he stands staring at her as though she just slapped him. He's ashen.

"That's how you feel?" he whispers.

For a split second, she wants to take back her words, backtrack, pretend as if the last minute didn't happen but then the look of abject horror on his face was exactly how she felt about the thought of a belt, whip or cane coming into contact with her skin. She took a deep breath and walked around the pool table next to him and hoisted herself onto the table. "I want a boyfriend, not a part time boyfriend who is a Dom on the weekends, not a boyfriend I get to see one day a week. I want a boyfriend I can surprise any day of the week. I want a boyfriend who for no reason another than he felt like it buys me flowers. I want a boyfriend who will not kick me to the curb because I happen to have fallen in love with him." And like a Swiss precision watch Christian flinches much to Ana's devastation. He wishes on everything he was that that wasn't his reaction, but it was.

"Ana… I can't… I do…" He had no words to help him. He could feel her slipping from his grasp, and he had no words to pull this from the edge of the cliff it was teetering on.

"How long do we do this for? Let's be honest, eventually you'd want a girl you can take a cane, belt or whatever else you fancy to and I'm not that girl. You would get bored and look for someone else." She paused attempting to reign in her emotions. "So… I think it's best to end it now before it destroys me."

"You are leaving me?" He asked refusing to dwell on the comment about destroying her; if he was honest with himself that was his fear. He had almost walked away for that very reason, and now there it was, but again he stamped down that fear.

"You asked me to try and I did. This is not for me, and I can say that from having given it a try. I want things you are not prepared to give…"

"Like what." Negotiations, that's what he did best. They've been here before and like before he negotiated his way into getting her, he just had to give her that little bit more, and they could get on with their weekend.

"I want to be me."

"I want you to be you." He argued back.

"No, you don't… not all the time, there are times you like my smart mouth as you call it. There are times that same smart mouth earns me a cold glare from you followed by the words 'be careful.' I can't roll my eyes without fear of punishment, everything that I am you want to beat out of me." _What?_

"Ana, that's not true." If he didn't get just how much she hated punishment he did now, but he couldn't do without it.

"I want to look at you, I want to call you Christian, I want to be able to touch my boyfriend, I want to be able to have dinner at my apartment with you on a Tuesday if I feel like it. I want you to come home from work on a Thursday and find me here in your bedroom unpacking for the weekend. Not in a room of my own for a reason that we already know do not apply to us. I don't want to be afraid of my boyfriend." That did it.

"You are afraid of me?" Fear was the one emotion he had learned never to instill in a sub, Elena had done that to him, and he later learned that was wrong. Respect, care, devotion, intimacy even, but never fear and to think Ana feared him was devastating.

"Yes, I hate the thought of punishment, and you are the man that will deliver it if I happen to break your lengthy list of rules… so yes I am afraid of you. I am afraid to tell you I love you. I shouldn't be sad to have you in my life, but that's how I feel most of the time, I have spent more time crying since I met you than I have my previous years on this earth combined. I want to be happy, I want to revel in having a boyfriend for the first time, being in love for the first time and yet all I feel is sadness and fear and a constant sense of dread instead of the anticipation I should feel about you. I shouldn't feel this way."

"No, you shouldn't." He admitted sadly.

"Can you answer one question, maybe if you could make me understand." She was lying; there was nothing he could say that would make getting caned or whipped acceptable.

"Why do you need to punish me?" He paled and shook his head.

"I can't…" he whispered

"I believe it's time for me to go." She hopped off the pool table walked past him, but before she could get far, he held her wrist stopping her.

"Ana…" words escaped him again, as it seems to have throughout this conversation.

"It's okay, this is who you are, and you have been honest about it. It's time for me to be honest about who I am. We are not meant to be, and that's okay." She leaned up and softly kissed his lips.

He was rooted to his spot going over the conversation they'd just had. How did they go from a playful moment to her walking out on him? She promised she'd never leave albeit unconsciously, but it was a promise none the less. His phone rung and he would have ignored it, but it was Welch.

Ana sat on the edge of the bed for a moment just to collect her thoughts when she burst into tears. She had fallen for a man who did not believe he was capable of love. She knew who he was and yet she had fallen hard and fast, she had no one to blame but herself. They were done at her behest; she had chosen to walk away for the sake of her sanity. Without any real focus she threw the little she had into her bag, got dressed and sat back down on the bed, her tears would not stop spilling. Without thought, she laid down on the sub's bed hugging the pillow to her.

She wakes with a start two hours later and realizes it's seven in the morning. _Shit, time to leave._ She walks out of the penthouse without a fuss and hails a cab back to her apartment. She has walked away, and yet the tears would not stop. She lay in her bed cursing the pedophile that thought it right to introduce a fifteen-year-old boy to this lifestyle.

Christian jogged an additional three miles at breakneck speed. It was Saturday morning, and he didn't have to worry about work today. His mind whirled as he went over and dissected his conversation with Ana. He was glad she was still at the penthouse. _Could I do without punishment, why do I need to beat Ana? She is not the crack whore for fuck sake._ By the time he got to the apartment, he had found himself thinking about compromises. He was sure they could work something out, except he found her bedroom empty, the empty room a picture of how he felt. Empty.


	2. Chapter 2 Backtrack

"I sent her another email this morning reminding her of her friend's opening tonight... and knowing she didn't have a car I offered to accompany her. I still didn't get a reply. Five days Flynn, five fucking days and she has yet to respond to a single email, the flowers I sent her was sent back. This afternoon the email I sent bounced back." He raged as he paced in front of the couch.

"Why do you need to contact her? If I recall correctly when things end with your subs, that is that. They stand to lose everything if they make any attempts to contact you. So why are you going to such lengths to contact her… from what you've told me you are not what she wants, and she is not what you need so why do you persist." Flynn said nonchalantly though his feelings were anything but.

"I was going to offer a compromise…" He sits down feeling lost, the emptiness that gnawed at him since Ana left continued to torture him.

"Compromise on punishments. Christian after everything you just told me about your last conversation, do you really believe she wants a compromise. She left you and has refused to accept your flowers or answer your emails. That does not sound to me like a girl who wants compromise. What are you willing to compromise or is it just all about you." Christian's head shot up, and he glared at Flynn. In reality, the question had hit a nerve.

"I can't let her go." He laments. Going after Ana was a huge mistake, and this was the perfect opportunity to let the girl go, but he just couldn't. He was not the man for her and yet he wanted her.

"Then I suggest you become what she wants, and I don't think a compromise will work here, especially when all the compromise is one-sided." Christian run his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I just can't do without…"

"Then I suggest you leave the young lady alone." Flynn barked in irritation. "Have you made any decisions about the doctor I recommended." Shit.

Christian had watched the DVD and read the book Flynn had given him about a doctor that specialized in touch therapy with great success. He had read and seen the testimonials of her former patient and felt like a failure. One woman's story in particular, had stayed with him. She had burns on over seventy percent of her body and could barely tolerate a handshake and yet had overcome her phobia. Her history made his seem like a walk in the park with the Easter Bunny, Father Christmas, and the tooth fairy. "Not yet…" He avoided Flynn's stare.

"Of course… because if you did you would not be able to use it as a crutch." Flynn scoffed much to Christian's shock. "I mean let's be honest you have used your childhood as a reason for who you are and why you behave the way you behave. If it were no longer an issue, you would have to face what your real problem was, and you don't want to do that. I have indulged you, I have let you use me as someone you talk to who won't go blabbing. You don't come here for help because every advice and help I have offered you have refused to even entertain. You don't want to change because you are afraid to live a little, you have pigeon holed yourself because of this lifestyle and because Elena Lincoln told you it was best. Well, Christian how is that working for you now?" Flynn barked. "You talk about compromise, you don't know the meaning of the word. The next time you step foot through those doors, you better be prepared to work or else don't bother coming back."

"Sir, we are here." Taylor's voice jolted him out of his reverie. He had every intention of flying but after his session with Flynn, he could barely put on a tie more or less fly Charlie Tango. If he was honest with himself, he didn't know what he was doing here. He still had nothing to offer Ana, right now the idea of a compromise was all he had. After his visit to Flynn, he wasn't so sure anymore, but… "Sir." Taylor stood with the door open.

* * *

"Coming." Ana groaned making her way to the door.

"Miss Steele." The deliveryman said checking his clipboard.

"No, Miss Steele is away for a few days." Ana struggled to hide her smirk as Reynolds looked flustered, he knew who Ana was, but he couldn't reveal that information without giving himself away. Ana mistook his look for the inconvenience at not being able to make his delivery.

"Can I leave this for her? " He asked.

"It will be in the bin by the time she gets back. I think it would be best if you take it back with you." She shut the door without waiting for an answer. It was a tad cruel sending the flowers back but if she gave in now they'd be right back where they left off. She meant every word she said, she wanted a boyfriend, not a Dom.

She had come home thinking she would most likely never see Christian again. She left him but she still loved him, she just couldn't be what he needed, and he wasn't what she had ever envisaged for herself. Her dejected mood Monday morning had soon lifted when he sent the first bouquet of roses, which she had again refused to sign for, then followed by emails she refused to read least she gave in. _Call me a bitch, but the man needs to know I meant every word I said._ _Until he is prepared to give up the notion of punishment for that ridiculous list of rules he has. I will not be entertaining any thoughts of getting back together no matter how much it hurts._

Ana stood stock still in front of seven black and white pictures of her. "I wanted to surprise you… what do you think?" José asked beaming a smile at her.

"That question is a little too late. You should have asked me that before you hung pictures of me and with the intention of selling them." She seethed.

"Ana…" José said shocked.

"I'm sorry, did you think this will make me happy. This is a complete violation of my trust and privacy. You asked me to pose so you could do whatever it is you do before you start taking pictures, and this is what you do with it. Hell, I asked you to delete them every single time you took a picture, and you assured me you had."

"Ana, it's… I…" José did not see this reaction coming and was now at a loss for words. He had been so happy when she turned up alone, he had planned on asking her to a late dinner after the show, and now it was all shot to hell.

"I believe by law I need to sign release papers for you to be able to display this. Take it down before I make the kind of scene you do not want." She barked.

"Mr. Rodriguez is everything alright." The red-haired woman asked.

"These portraits are no longer for sale," José said staring at Ana as though he didn't recognize her.

"Mr. Rod…"

"They are not for sale." José finally turned his attention to her. "Ana, I'm…" She didn't wait for whatever he was going to say, she walked past him grabbing her coat and out the door all in some seconds. She was sick and tired of people seeing her as a doormat to be used and abused.

"Ana." She closed her eyes and cursed the heavens.

"What do you want?" She snarled.

"I was hoping we could talk," Christian said ignoring her attitude.

"I already made my feelings clear so unless you are here to tell…" The gallery door opened, and out walked José. He didn't hide his irritation at seeing Christian.

"Can we go somewhere more private?" Christian asked pretending José was not standing next to Ana.

"Ana…" José's evening was quickly going down the drain as far as he was concerned and just when he thought it didn't have any further to go it did.

"Mr. Rodriguez, a buyer wants you to talk him through a few pictures." He sighed and walked back in, his puppy dog eyes firmly trained on Ana. She simply rolled her eyes and walked towards Kate's car. After all, she was in Barbados and didn't need it.

"Ana, just hear me out and if you don't like what I have to say I will leave you alone."

"Where to?" she asked finally looking at him properly. He looked the same handsome devil that had burrowed into her heart and refusing to leave. Despite appearances, she didn't want him to leave her alone.

"How about that restaurant?" He grabbed her by the elbows and started walking. "You look beautiful." He said as he opened the door for her.

"Thank you." She mumbled not trusting herself to speak any louder least she gave away her real emotions.

"Good evening, table for two?" The hostess inquired. Christian nodded his response. "This way." She leads them to a table at the back much to Christian's appreciation. "Would you like the wine list?"

"No, water is fine," Christian grumbled.

"And you Miss."

Water as well." Ana responded.

"Was the boy's show any good?" Christian asked with a smirk.

"You want to talk about José." Ana raised an eyebrow.

"No… I want you back…"

"Your water and the menu." Christian waited till she was out of earshot.

"We can make this work."

"Make what work," Ana asks as the waitress comes to take their order.

"Give us a minute." Christian barked.

"The playroom keeps me sane, keeps me from losing control." He took her hand in his; the feel of her soft skin, her delicate fingers, and that tingling sensation had him closing his eyes.

"That's fine for you, it's not for me, and that's why I left. Christian, I am not coming back for any reason another than what I already made clear." She countered.

He sat back and huffed in frustration, she wasn't going to change her mind, and he knew it, but he kept trying all the same. "There have to be rules, and if you break those rules, there are consequences." She needed to understand his position.

"What am I? A child?" She barked. "Christian I didn't ask you here. I didn't ask you to come here and try and win me back. If my ignoring you didn't send that message well here it is again. I left, and you assured me that if I left that was it, so what are you doing here?" He pulled at his hair in irritation.

"We can compromise." He added softly.

"I don't want to compromise." Ana countered barely paying attention to him. "Why… why the fuck do you need rules." She shouted then quickly looked around the restaurant grateful to see the few people eating minding their own business.

"Ana, I need control in my life."

"How exactly that does that give you control? I mean… a sub's role is a subservient one; they've already made the decision to be controlled. Controlling someone that has already ceded control to you isn't exactly having control is it?" She looked at him earnestly waiting for an answer, waiting for him to help her understand.

Christian for some reason with all his brains had never once thought about it that way. He had the illusion of control, and that was why he kept everyone else at arms length because he had no real control over people that didn't work for him. That was why he fought emotions because he had no control over them. Hell, part of keeping his family at arms length was for the same reason.

"I never looked at it that way." He lamented. Even if he had, he ignored it.

"Of course, you didn't." Ana scoffed earning a glare from him.

"Turn that glare on someone who gives a fuck." _Yep, she was no one's submissive._ "I have work in the morning, and it's getting late." She moved her seat back.

"We haven't resolved anything," Christian said sounding slightly panicked.

"I didn't come here to resolve anything. I came to a friend's opening, that was a bust, and now I'm going home." She stood, and he stood with her.

"Ana, please…" That was not a word he often used not that Ana cared at this point.

"I already told you what I want, you told me what you wanted. It's clear we are not compatible… there is no harm in that. Christian, find yourself a sub…" with every fiber of her being she fought to sound nonchalant and show no emotion. The thought of him with someone else was devastating but she had to or else she'd lose herself trying to be what he wanted.

"I don't want another sub…"

"I'm not a sub playing hard to get or refusing to change a hard limit to a soft limit. I am telling you I don't want or need what you have to offer. I'm not asking you to commit to anything. I'm asking you to try just as I tried for you…" she took a deep breath. "Your mother's so called friend did you a real disservice. You can't even try something different, even when it's going to cost you something you so clearly want you still can't. Frankly, I'm beginning to wonder if it's that you can't or if it's because of fear. Is that what it is, you are afraid to do something outside of your comfort zone. What is the worst that could happen? This isn't just about control, you've just realized that, and yet you still persist so what is this really about?" All of a sudden he looked terrified, and it was evident she had hit the nail on the head. His need to punish her wasn't about a list of stupid rules. The rules were just a ruse for something entirely different, something he was ashamed off. "Let me ask you something. You have been at this for six years if it hasn't worked, what makes you think it will work in the next six. I believe Albert Einstein said 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.'" She pulled her coat on leaving him to ponder what she said.

* * *

"She is right it's insane to think to punish a bunch of innocent girls will heal me. Hell, some of these girls were just twinkles in their parent's eyes when Ella was getting high and leaving me at the mercy of the pimp. Where has the lifestyle got me?" Flynn was positively vibrating with hope. "I want her back, Flynn. I need her back in my life. I can't sleep, I eat because I have to, GEH holds no appeal… and it used to be my sanctuary. It was the place I went when I wanted to escape, and now I don't even want that."

"What the bloody hell is stopping you?" Flynn barked.

"She wants to know why I needed to punish her. How do I tell her I was so adamant about punishment because she looked like the crack whore? Any hope I'd have of getting her back would be extinguished the moment I tell her the truth. If I don't, she will in some way find out. The truth always comes out."

"Does that theory apply to your parents finding out about Elena?" Flynn looked on amused as Christian's statement dawned on him. "You are going to have to bite the bullet and tell her. Yes, there is a chance she will walk away from you, and there is a chance she will not but you will never know until you tell her."

After an unsettling weekend, one where he went to the Coping Together gala, where he found himself feeling incredibly unsettled sat next to Elena. After a very long session with Flynn, he had come to see that Elena didn't help him if anything she hindered his growth emotionally leaving incapable of forming a real connection with another human being. He wanted a life with Ana, and it was obvious he couldn't have that with Elena in his life. Come Monday morning he had the necessary paperwork sent to Elena dissolving their business partnership. Knowing Elena as much as he did, he had stipulated that his gifting of his share to Elena was under the condition she stayed away from him and his family or else she loses everything. She was already on the proscribed list at GEH and the codes to the penthouse had been changed.

Ana was far more important to him than anybody or thing right now, and Elena if he stood a chance with Ana just had to go.

"Sir." Taylor stood in his office doorway. "There are two detectives here to see you."

"Regarding?" He asked perturbed.

"They didn't say," Taylor answered. Christian walked out into the great room just as the detectives came through the double doors.

"Detectives, what can I do for you?" He asked as they sat down.

"I'm Detective Stanton, this is Kenny. Earlier this evening we had an emergency call from Miss. Anastasia Steele…" Christian sat up.

"Is she alright?" Christian damn near shouted.

"Miss Steele is Excellent." Christian didn't like the sudden infliction in the detective's voice. "She came home late from work and found a young woman in her apartment with a gun. The young lady…" Detective Stanton looked at his notebook. "A Leila Williams insisted Miss. Steele call you, Miss Steele told her she was no longer involved with you and Miss Williams was welcome to check her phone, which she did and realized Miss Steele didn't have your number. According to Miss Steele, she completely lost control ranting and waving her gun about. She at this point turned her back on Miss. Steele who took the opportunity to knock her out with a vase on the table by the kitchen and called us. Miss Williams has been arrested, but it is clear she is not mentally stable to understand what is going on around her. The only information we have on her is her name, and that is down to her admission at Seattle General a week ago, we were wondering if you could help us with any more information on her."

"Yes, I have the number for her parents, I will get it for you." Christian shook off the trepidation washing over him and headed to his office for the information he needed. The minute the detectives left he was going over to Ana's to check on her. Leila had a gun, they knew about this but fuck not once did he expect her to go after Ana, after all, she wasn't talking to him, and no one had seen them together to report it to the media.

* * *

He pressed the doorbell several times, and no one answered, his calls went straight to her voicemail. He looked up and found no lights on in the apartment. _Where is she?_ "Christian." The relief that coursed through him was immense.

"Thank God." He cried crushing her to him.

"What are you doing here? She asked not in the mood to deal with him after the evening she just had.

"The police came to see me regarding what happened."

"Ah yes… your crazy ex trying to kill me because I was apparently in the way." She sneered anger boiling to the surface.

"I am so sorry…" Christian tried.

"I don't want to hear it… go away." Ana barked unlocking the front door.

"God, Ana for fuck sake do you have any idea what I went through?" He realized what he'd said the moment the words left his mouth. No one had pointed a gun at him.

"Do I have any… you know what, fuck you, Christian. Stay the fuck away from me, come near me again and you will regret it."

"I CAN'T, I LOVE YOU." He shouted. She froze in the doorway. "To think... I could have lost you was the wake-up call I needed. Hell, I'd pretty much figured out you were right after I left the restaurant. I did away with the playroom, my mother's friend she out of my life and I will spend the rest of my life being the man you deserve. Please, Ana, give me a chance, one more chance." He pleaded.

 _Well, fuck me._ Ana expected this moment to take months and yet there it was in a week and a half. "Come up then." She said with a smile. It wasn't over, and they both knew it.

"Before we say anything else, I have a few things I need to tell you."

"Figured as much," Ana mumbled.

He didn't suffer with nerves, never have and he sat there feeling tense as the seconds ticked by, as Ana paced her living room, she'd asked more questions than he expected, whether it boded well for him or not he didn't know. "You were so insistent on punishment, and now you want me to believe I don't look like your dead mother."

"I need you more than I need punishment. I am now well aware of just how insane that premise was. I have a type, but deep down I've known a long time that it wasn't really about punishing her. You were right about a lot of things; I was too scared to change, too scared to move out of my comfort zone. Everything I thought that room did for me was just an illusion. I have wasted my therapist time for so long, but I'm working on my issues. Ana, I love you I just need one chance to prove myself."

"Okay," Ana says with a sigh.

"Really." He asked getting on his feet.

"Yes really, I love you too, and I have missed you. I really didn't think you'd ever… and even if you…"

"Hey, I'm here, I've missed you too." He smashes his lips against hers kissing her like a man possessed. "God, I've missed this." He groaned.

"I love you." Ana sang with a giggle.

"I love you too," Christian said taking comfort in her closeness. I really want to make love to you." He whispered.

"God, yes." Ana moaned much to his delight.

* * *

His delight came from worshipping her body, pouring emotion into every act. When she came, she shuddered with pleasure the likes of which he had never seen. He had never done that to another woman nor had he experienced what he felt when he came. He lay beside her, still feeling the aftershocks of his orgasm. _This is what making love; emotion and love did for you during sex… fuck I have missed out on so much. Never again._


	3. Chapter 3 Drunk Dial

**DRUNK DIAL**

 **Summary: What if Ana doesn't get drunk and call Christian. Things take a turn he couldn't have imagined, but not everything is as it seems. Two Shot.**

Christian stared at his phone his fingers itching to call Ana, but he didn't. "Bro, come on let's go out… grab a few drinks, catch up." Eliot practically begged.

"Elliot I have a conference call in a couple of hours, sorry I can't."

"How about a hike in the morning." He suggested.

"I'm up for that." He didn't have to worry about masses of people, any of whom could touch him when he least expected.

"Cool, well… I'm going to head out." He needed to get laid and soon before his dick fell off. How Christian did it was beyond him, then again he didn't know much about his brother, no one did.

"Sure." Christian chuckled putting his Mac aside to grab a bottle of water.

He didn't have a conference call, he couldn't bring himself to go out and pretend to remotely have fun with Ana on his mind. He had never wanted anything as much as he wanted her and yet his lifestyle prevented him. She was young and innocent, was he really going to drag her into his darkness and potentially fuck up her life. What happened when in six months time she uttered those dreaded three words. He couldn't see himself coldly getting rid of her like he normally did. She was young and impressionable; it was best for all concerned to leave her alone. He shut his laptop and went to the bedroom hoping for a few hours sleep before the nightmares kicked in.

* * *

"Finally, remember it was your idea to go hiking, and yet you keep me waiting." Christian barks.

"Sorry bro, give me a minute to change." He smiles widely catching his brother off guard. As promised Elliot was back out and ready to go in no time.

Half way up their destination and Elliot had yet to make a crude comment or any comment about the girl he spent the night with. "What did you do all night?" Christian asked curious about the permanent smile etched on Elliot's face.

"Met a girl…"

"That's a given, but something is different."

"And you know that how." Elliot countered.

"You haven't had that smile on your face since you lost your virginity to Stephanie Egbert."

"It wasn't that… I will admit I attract a certain type, and it has never bothered me before because…" He paused turning to face his brother who was forced to stop abruptly. "Sex was all I was interested in. I love the chase, that first time high, that newness of everything and that's all I've ever paid attention to. Every time I think of change, a small amount of conversation with the girl tells me to move on. Last night I realized I didn't know what I wanted, I have been stuck in his quagmire of shallowness, looks, and physicality that I never knew what I wanted in a girl. Did I want someone whose personality matched my own, did I want someone who would put up with my bullshit laugh at my jokes. What did I want?" He started walking again.

"Last night I finally found what I wanted, and I realized I never went after that type because I was not ready to settle down. I avoided it because if I found what I wanted it meant the party lifestyle was over."

"Elliot, are you saying you met the girl you want to settle down with last night." _Mom will be over the moon and hopefully get off my case. I am never going to have what Elliot seems to have found._

The thought instantly had him thinking of Ana, as much as he wanted her, he knew she wasn't for him, and he wasn't for her. Except, he had to at least offer her a contract. If she turned it down, he would at least have tried and known it was not a possibility. Yes, he would call her when they got back to the hotel, take her out for dinner and lay the foundation.

"Yeah…" Elliot sighed with a smile that had Christian smiling too. "She's not a blonde." He said with a chuckle. "Did not have a clue about me and my reputation. Most girls approach me knowing who I am and somehow have an issue when I don't want a relationship." Elliot knew most girls only ever approached him for what they could get. He didn't have Christian's money, but he had money.

Who is she?"

"Her name is Anastasia Steele, Ana for short." Christian stumbled and quickly righted himself. He felt the air leave his body and suddenly found he was having difficulty breathing. He put his hands on his knees desperately trying to even out his breathing. His racing heart was not making it easy. Elliot who had been in his own world lyrically waxing about Ana finally noticed his brother bent over. "Bro, you alright."

"Yeah, I lost my footing and nearly went head first into that rock. Just trying to study my breathing." He lied smoothly. "Did you say her name was Ana Steele?"

"Yeah." Elliot smiled wildly.

"Brunette, blue eyes, short, cute button nose and…"He stopped realizing his description bothered on want.

"You know her."

"She came to interview me for the WSU paper in place of her friend," Christian answered.

"So it was you." Elliot chuckled. "She mentioned you guys going for coffee after a photo shoot, and she made the mistake of thinking you liked her." _I did, and evidently, I have lost my chance._

"So she doesn't know you are a Grey?"

"No, I didn't tell her, and she didn't ask. We talked all night, we clicked… do you know the number of times I had rolled my eyes when I heard someone say that about meeting their other half? And yet, here I am using it, but fuck did we. We talked football, soccer, and basketball; apparently, she is going to kick my ass at FIFA 12. Then we talked about our families; I feel lucky having the Grey's as a family. Do you know what I see with her, mom and dad? Your wife and your best friend, not just someone you fuck and make love to. You have commonalities, we have the same interest, and we talked all night. Her voice, oh bro, her voice." Christian watched his brother practically jumping up and down, animatedly talking about a girl. That was who Ana needed in her life, not some fucked up guy with mommy issues beating brunettes just to feel some semblance of control.

He finally asked Elliot about work, talked a little about GEH even though he couldn't tell you what he said. His thoughts were of the beautiful brunette that had slipped through his fingers.

* * *

"Flynn, I didn't think I would ever see her again… in a way, I was okay with not having her as along as I never saw her again. Elliot, who would have thought… Elliot fucking Grey will decide the girl I wanted is the one for him."

You rarely spent any time with your family it will be easy to avoid your brother and his girlfriend." Flynn didn't miss the slight twitch in Christian's hand when he used the word 'girlfriend.'

"That is not the point," Christian grumbled.

"Then what is the point?" Flynn asked.

"If I weren't so fucked up she'd be my fucking girlfriend." For the first time in his life, he was questioning everything regarding his personal life.

"You want a girlfriend?"

"No, I want Ana." He whispered.

"Do you want Ana because she's not available. Think about it… you rejected her. Now you want her knowing you can't have her. You've always got something you wanted, Ana is just another…"

"Flynn, I am severely tempted to hit you." Christian threatened, glaring at the doctor.

"You are telling me you want the girl you rejected after a coffee date where you found her too innocent, has nothing to do with your brother."

"When Elliot started talking about having met a girl he would possibly marry. I made the decision to offer Ana a contract if she said no at least I tried. That was before he told me who the girl was."

"Hypothetically, if for some reason your brother and Ana were to suddenly decide a relationship is not for them. What would you do?"

"I saw her during her graduation, I gave the commencement speech. Watching her with her friends and her father…" he runs his fingers through his hair. "I want her, but what I have to offer is not for her. I cannot subject her to my lifestyle. I have nothing to give the girl except for material things, pain, and pleasure. From what I've learned from Elliot who doesn't shut up about her, she is not that kind of girl. My reputation as a Dom involves these things, these are the things I can provide…" the thought made him feel like a John paying for sex, very expensive sex. "There is no point in beating myself up over her, she is not available." With that, he left Flynn's office.

* * *

"Ana, I am so sorry, but I have a work emergency on one of the sites. I'm afraid I can't take you to the game." Elliot apologizes.

"Why are apologizing, you are the one who wanted to see the game at CenturyLink Field."

"After the week you've had, it would have been great to see the game." Elliot lamented.

"I can take you." Christian jumps in much to everyone's surprise.

"Bro, this isn't you sitting in a private box watching the game. This is in the crowds and even if you can get your security tickets it is highly unlikely they will be sitting close to you.

"Ana if you want to go I will take you. If not, you can watch it here with us." Christian found himself wishing Ana would agree to go with him.

"I'd like to go." She said shyly.

"Then it's settled, we are going to the game." Christian smiled brightly. Spending the next couple of hours with Ana without Elliot was a chance he never thought he would get. He'd come to dinner the last two Sundays knowing she'd be there.

"How is life at SIP?" Christian asked making an attempt at conversation. This wasn't something he did, small talk was not in his repertoire.

"Apart from my boss being a creep, it's good."

"A creep?" Christian sat up and turned his body slightly towards her.

"He leers at me, constantly invading my private space. He asked me out for drinks after work to celebrate my first day and come tomorrow I have to go for drinks to celebrate the end of my first week. Then there is him trying to give me a ride home or offering to pick me up." Christian didn't like the sound of this. "I don't want to sound like I'm making a fuss…"

"You are not. They are little things but add them together, and it's harassment."

"We are here sir," Taylor informs them.

Christian had been to CenturyLink many times but never for soccer or football as the rest of the world called it. Shit, I sound like Ana. Last Sunday's lunch had proved to be very entertaining when Elliot and Ana went back and forth about America's use of the football when it wasn't football. She had argued that since the game was in essence, a form of rugby, it would have been less confusing to simply call it rugby. Even explained the name football was long being used for what we insultingly call soccer before American's adopted the name for their brand of football.

She had Elliot by the short hairs until I came to his aide asking if that same argument applied to Australians with Australian style football which also in essence was rugby. She glared at me for all of two seconds before she burst into a fit of giggles. I felt my heart beat; I had never envied anyone as much as I envied Elliot. Watching the two of them was like watching two best friends. Not even Mia had that kind of playfulness with her friends.

"Mr. Grey." Christian looked up sharply.

"Tom." He said surprised by the sight of Elliot's foreman. "How are you?" He asked politely.

"I'm good… rather surprising to see you here. Elliot said you weren't into soccer." He wasn't but for Ana he was. He looked around and realized she was nowhere to be found. _Where did she go?_

"Bathroom," Taylor answered his unasked question.

"I thought you guys had an emergency at one of the sites?" He turned to Tom remembering the excuse Elliot had used.

"We have no jobs at the moment… we have the week off because come Monday we have four projects and three more in two months." Tom answered.

"Oh right… my mistake." Tom nodded.

"Good to see you." He said walking away.

"Find out where my brother is," Christian growled just as Ana came back out.

"I see you are back with us." Ana teased.

"Back with… back where?"

"I told you three times I was using the bathroom, you didn't hear me."

"Sorry, my mind drifted to your argument about the use of the word soccer for football." She giggled, and he found himself smiling down at her.

* * *

"They let two fucking goals in the last five minutes, two fucking goals." Christian barked still pissed at the draw.

"It's a draw Christian, they still got a point." Ana tried although she couldn't stop giggling. Had she been at home watching the game she'd be just as pissed at the two sloppy goals the Sounders conceded. Right now, watching a very annoyed Christian just overshadowed any annoyance on her part.

"They lost last week."

"How do you know they lost?" Ana asked amused.

"I may have googled it." He admitted sheepishly.

"Of course you did." The car pulled up in front of her building to find Elliot sitting on the front step waiting for them. "Christian, thank you so much. It was my first time, and it lived up to all expectation.

"You are welcome… Ana, if you end up going for that work drink get Elliot to meet you there in case…"

"Thanks, Christian." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before exiting the car. He watched her jump into Elliot's arms and fuck if it didn't hurt.

"Where was Elliot tonight?" He barked.

"He went home, but before he did, he got a phone call from Gia Matteo."

"That fucking asshole… Gia fucking Matteo. He left Ana for that fucking whore." The temptation to drive back to Ana's and kick Elliot's ass was overwhelming.

Come Saturday Christian's mood had not improved. It only got worse when he saw Ana looking every bit as beautiful in a blue gown. She laughed as something Elliot said her face radiating joy. "Christian… darling." Elena purred planting a soft kiss on his cheek. Her lips felt cold compared to Ana's.

"Elena." He replied coldly.

"Is everything all right?" She asked.

"Fine." In the last couple of weeks, he had started questioning everything he knew. His brother had a beautiful woman, and he was cheating on her only because he had rejected her. He would give everything just to be able to go back to that moment opposite the Heathman. This time, he would kiss her, and worry about everything else later. He didn't because of everything the plastic blonde in front of him had drummed into his head.

"What's with the one-word answers?" Elena questioned exasperated. Before he could answer Elliot and Ana approached. "Ana." He greeted warmly kissing her cheek ignoring Elliot.

"What am I chop liver?" Elliot grumbled.

"Yeah," Christian answered bluntly.

"Elliot." Elena greeted hoping for an introduction.

"Come, Ana, you must be thirsty." He pulled her away from Elena.

"Who was that?"

"None of your business," Christian answered before walking away.

With Ana at their table, Elena was relegated to another seat far from Christian. He found himself relieved at the outcome. Much to everyone's surprise, he spent a great deal of time talking to Ana. Theo, his grandfather, flirted outrageously with Ana cutting him off far too much. Anybody else and he'd be looking for ways to end them.

Christian replies a few emails during the first dance auction, this being the first time he'd stayed this long. He looks up and finds Elliot walking back with a blonde a couple of steps behind him. It doesn't take a genius to know what just happened. "You have got to be kidding me." He barks. "You left your girlfriend to hook up with that. First Gia, now her." He sneered at the blonde when she walks past.

"Bro, what is the big deal, you…"

"This has always been your problem… nothing is ever a big deal. You are thirty years old, and you act like a fucking pubescent fool."

"Somebody has to little bro, we need balance with you acting like a fifty-something-year-old. What is your problem all of a sudden? You have never taken issue with my life when it comes to women. What's with the sudden…" Elliot chuckled devilishly. "It's Ana...little bro wants my girlfriend. Well isn't this a turn up for the books." He laughed.

"She is a wonderful young woman who needs to be treated with respect and there you are sleeping with whores." Christian sneered.

"That is not your fucking problem. I stay out of your life, stay the fuck out of mine." Elliot bit back.

"I could take her from you." Christian threatened.

Elliot's response was a smug smile. " I'd love to see you try." With that, he walked away.


	4. Chapter 4 Drunk Dial

**AN: I've got a couple of reviews and PM's as the previous chapter didn't seem to have anything to do with the first two. This is a series of different stories based on what ifs. There will be different stories, and I will write a summary every time a new story starts and how many chapters it will have. I hope this explains it. C.J.**

He made no attempts to hide his jealousy and anger watching Ana dance with Elliot. "Son." His father called. "It is not done… you do not go after your brother's girlfriend. She is different and means the world to her."

"And yet he's cheating on her." He growled.

"Christian," Mia warned.

"I'm not making it up… I just saw him leaving the boathouse with a blonde. We all know what Elliot does in the boathouse." Grace couldn't hide her disappointment. "I wish I could say it's the first time."

"What do you mean?" Mia asked.

"Remember the soccer game he couldn't go because he had an emergency on the site? Well, he went home instead, to fuck Gia Matteo." He sneered in disgust.

"I really thought he turned the corner," Carrick said with a sigh.

Elliot's busy schedule played right into Christian's hands. He picked her up Monday morning when her beat up Beetle finally took its last breath. Christian had wanted the car taken to a junkyard, but Taylor insisted he could sell it, as it was a collector's item. They planned to meet up at lunch but before ten o'clock Ana was calling him. "Ana, miss me already." He teased.

"I'm going to New York on Wednesday with the creep. Christian, I can't be in the same hotel with him more or less a room away." Ana raged. "God… you should have heard when he talked about us going. Every word was dripping in creepiness. Christian, I can't say no, it's my job, I have to book flights in a minute."

"Don't say no, book the flight and room… don't worry you won't be anywhere near him except for work. You will be all right." His confidence calmed her considerably.

"Thank you, Christian." Ana breathed a sigh not so much of relief but hope.

"ANA." She groaned picking up her cup of tea and his coffee. She silently offered him the cup of coffee. "Are the tickets and rooms booked?"

"I'm just about to do it." She said with a smile.

"This will be a great learning experience for you." He said with a smirk that sent a shiver down her spine.

She found herself thanking God for Christian Grey, after the coffee date she didn't think she would see him again and now there he was, a friend. An unexpected one, but a good friend nonetheless. The cold demeanor she first encountered was nowhere to be seen.

The next couple of days she had lunch and dinner with him. They talked; he shared his childhood horror with her. Something that was clearly difficult for him. She finally understood his reluctance to talk during that coffee date. She wouldn't want to relive that either.

* * *

"Ana, ready to go," Jack said his smile a mile wide. The cab ride to the airport was bad enough, but the thought of five hours sat next to him was unthinkable.

They approached the counter Jack's details was checked and given a seat and his details handed back to him. Ana handed hers over, and it obvious from the get-go there was a problem.

"Is there a problem?" Ana asked hoping there really was.

"I'm sorry Miss Steele… I don't know how it happened. It was evident you booked the flight, and the system allowed you to… except it shouldn't have. Give me a second." She said flustered and walked away.

Within minutes she was back with another employee. "Miss. Steele, due to a system error you booked a flight you should not have been able to book. Please accept our sincere apologies for this. We have upgraded you to first class as it's the only seat available."

"As long as I have a seat that is fine with me." She said with a smile.

"Is everything alright?" Jack asked as she walked back.

"Yeah, some kind of system error. They don't have a seat in economy even though the system allowed me to book the flight so they upgraded me to first class." She shrugged. "Guess I will see you in New York," Ana said walking away.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked bristling with anger.

"To the first class lounge. I've never sat there before, and I may never get that chance again." She walked away before Jack could say anymore. Jack watched her leave his anger brewing.

* * *

Well, well, well if it isn't trouble herself. Jack was shocked to see Ana run to a man the size of a tank and hug him for dear life. "Look at you, you haven't grown an inch." He teased.

"And you just keep growing." She shot back.

"How was first class." He whispered with a wink. Jack cleared his throat getting their attention.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners, Jack Hyde Luke Sawyer. Luke served under my dad in the Marines. Luke this is my boss Jack Hyde." Luke shook Jack's hand, and Ana caught him wince.

"Come I will drive you to your Hotel. As luck would have it, I'm staying in the same hotel." _Yeah, luck._ Ana thought with a smile, she had met Luke Monday night when Christian introduced them. The idea of Luke being a family friend had been Ana's as Christian's idea was just not going to work.

"So, Luke what do you do?" Jack asked still rubbing his sore hand.

"Private security, my boss is in town for the next few days. I'm backup, but I doubt I will be needed. Ana, what are your plans?"

"Well, we have a symposium to attend tomorrow in between that there are few stalls to visit. A chance to hopefully sign a few new talents." She answered.

"You are going to need all the talent you can get." Luke scoffed.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Jack barked.

"Don't you know?" Luke asked surprised. "SIP is in financial trouble, you will need a miracle to keep your doors open. I believe your owner Roach approached my boss for financial help. My boss doesn't see any money in publishing unless SIP finds an investor there will be no SIP by the end of the year."

"I just got this job." Ana already knew this, but she needed to act surprise for Jack's benefit.

The moment they arrived at the hotel Jack got on his phone to Roach. "Jack, do you know what time it is?" Roach barked.

"I don't give a fuck, is SIP in financial trouble?" He asked bluntly. Roach's silence was all the answer he needed. "How long?"

"Unless we get financial backing… six months, maybe a year." Jack now knew the New York was a waste of time for SIP anyway. Fuck SIP he was going to use his time here to find a new employer. He pushed the elevator button with more force than necessary before realizing he had no idea what his room number was.

He found Ana outside with the Marine. "I suggest you make the most of your time here and forget about the symposium. It's a waste of time, your friend is right SIP is done."

"If you don't mind I will attend it all the same. They spent money they clearly didn't have to get us here."

"Suit yourself," Jack said walking away. His plans to fuck Ana raw had to be put aside for now. _This is what you get for a taking a job with a company going nowhere so you can watch the Grey family and fuck pretty unwilling girls._

Christian read the text from Ana, the plan had worked, Jack was looking for employment elsewhere. Christian walked over to the private dining room at the Mile High to find his guest already waiting for him. "Mr. Grey, I have to say I was surprised when I got your phone call."

"Your company needs help, and I am here to provide it." Roach smiled with relief. Christian sent a text and turned his attention back to the man before him.

With business concluded Christian left the Mile High with a smile and plans to fly to New York. He would keep Ana in New York this weekend away from Elliot and a chance to woo her.

"Mr. Grey." He turned towards the voice and frowned.

"Ms. Matteo." He replied coldly.

"Call me Gia." She purred.

"I'd rather not. Do you know Elliot has a girlfriend?" _You mean the girlfriend you are planning to seduce._

"I'm not sure why you are telling me," Gia said perplexed. "I'm telling you because instead of going to a game with his girlfriend he was fucking you and lying about it." He sneered. "Stay the fuck away from him." He warned.

"Mr. Grey, I don't know…"

"Do not play me for a fool. You called him on the 9th and…"

"Yes I did, but it doesn't mean I slept with him. The last time anything happened between your brother and I was over a year ago. Since then he has made it clear it's strictly business and nothing else. I agreed because I couldn't afford to lose his business."

"You didn't sleep with Elliot?" Christian asked confused. _Why would Elliot pretend he did?_

* * *

Elliot pulled up at outside his condo and found Christian waiting for him. He really didn't have time for another lecture, Christian was supposed to be in New York busy wooing Ana. "Elliot, care to explain why you lead to me believe you were cheating on Ana?"

"How else was I going to get you to go after her?" He said with a smirk. "Even if I did sleep with Gia and that girl I'm not cheating. Ana is not my girlfriend she is a friend."

"What about that spiel about you finally finding the girl you are going to marry and all that." Christian barked.

"I wanted to see your reaction."

"How did you even know about Ana?" Christian still had a hard time believing Elliot.

"You stared at that Mac for over an hour, not once did you touch the keyboard or trackpad. I didn't think anything of it until you got up to get a drink and what do I see, a picture of Ana. You sat there staring at a picture of Ana. I left you alone wondering who she was and nothing more.

As faith would have it, outside the bar who do I see Ana sat on a bench by herself drinking a bottle of water." Elliot chuckles grabbing a bottle of beer. "So I approached her, and we just started talking, and I introduced myself. She asked me if I was related to you and I said yes. She told me about the coffee date and how she had made a fool of herself thinking you liked her. After watching you just sat there staring at her picture I knew you liked her. I also know you are too stubborn to do anything about it, so I decided to help you."

"By letting me think she was the love of your life." Christian was positively fuming.

"Yeah, I realized during that hike just how much you wanted her. Your reaction when I told you her name said it all. I don't know why you walked away the first time, but clearly whatever the reason, I surmise it's no longer an issue?"

"Not as such, but if Ana and I are going to work, I need to tell her a few things." He feared she would be the one to walk away this time. He had to be honest with her and hope she'd gave him a chance. "So Ana knew nothing about your plans?"

"I thought about telling her initially, but I decided to wait until it was necessary. It just never became necessary. You all, well, not you but everyone else just assumed she was my girlfriend. Think about it, did you ever see us kiss, did you ever see me pinch her ass or do anything remotely inappropriate." Christian chuckled in disbelieve.

"We men are simple creatures, but not so much when it comes to the women we want. You wanted her, and that feeling only intensifies when someone else had her. All of a sudden the reason you couldn't have her doesn't seem so insurmountable." He had already decided he wanted Ana before Elliot said her name, but he was right until then he wanted her as a sub. Watching Elliot with her even though in truth he never saw any intimacy between them, it had changed his worldview.

"You knew you were capable of such cunning." He said in awe. "Thank you." He added softly. "I was going to meet her in New York, ask her for a second chance. I was willing… hell, I was going to throw you under the bus. That would have been an interesting conversation."

"Her friendship has come to mean the world to me… I will cause you a great deal of pain if you hurt her." Elliot warned him.

* * *

"But… but the… after the coffee…"

"I know I was such a fool, but if you will allow me to explain." Christian found himself pleading.

"Go on then explain," Ana mumbled.

Taking Flynn's advice he told her everything. She knew about his childhood and his difficult teenage years before Elena. He just never told her how Elena helped.

"Because you were forced to let me go it opened your eyes to her lies," Ana asks in shock.

"Yes, I knew I felt something strong for you, but when you've had bullshit drummed into your head for so long… well, you believe it. I knew you were not cut out to be a sub, so I thought it best to let you leave. Then I considered showing you the contract, if you turned me down at least, I had a definite answer instead of maybe. Minutes later I thought my world had fallen apart when Elliot said you were the woman of his dreams, the one he was going to marry." Ana giggles surprising him.

"I guess woman aren't the only one who realize they want someone when someone else has them."

"I do want you. I was so stuck in my ways I thought it was the only way I could have you, but I know better. That is if you will give me a second chance."

"Depending on the position of the pedophile in your life."

"She is not in my life, I have signed over the salon to her and removed myself as a backer with the banks. Her life and finances are her problem, not mine. I know she will use my parents to get back in my life. I will not let that happen, I will sooner tell them than allow it." He says emphatically.

"This is unexpected." She mumbled with a sigh.

"Ana…" her phone rang and her face lit up when she looked at the caller I.D. _I need to get her a smartphone. I didn't know flip phones were still manufactured._

"Kate…" She exclaimed. She put a finger up requesting for a minute. Christian needed that moment to compose himself. A minute to figure out how he was going to tell her about his penchant for brunettes and why. _If she stays, it will be a miracle._

"I take it Miss. Kavanagh is back from her holidays." He said with a forced smile.

"Yes, I can't wait to get home." She cheered. He was disappointed, as he had planned for her to stay over the weekend. "I have to get back to the hotel, can we talk later?" She looked hopeful, and he felt it.

"Before you go I have one more thing to tell you…" he runs his fingers through his hair. "You know what it can wait." He chuckled.

* * *

He had been hoping to see Ana before she left New York, but it wasn't to be. The weekend had also been a disappointment. Her weekend at the Publishing Fair or whatever it was had been a success. She was busy with work having earned a promotion to junior editor. Hyde had quit without notice, and worse had left Ana to do all the work. She had bravely delivered the presentation he was meant to. Come Friday night he couldn't wait any longer and turned up at SIP after work.

He found her in her small office chewing on a pen, her brow furrowed in concentration. "Good evening Miss. Steele." she smiled before looking up.

"Well, hello Mr. Grey. Please take a seat." He sat in front of her desk admiring her beauty.

"Ana… before we decide where this is going… I have something to tell you, and I hope…" He rubbed his face furiously. " I am a sadist or at least I always believed I was one since meeting you I have realized my therapist has been right all along." He took a deep breath and held it.

"I figured that out already, between your birth mother's neglect, the pimp, and your punishing women. It wasn't hard to put it together, it's easy to see why you would see yourself as a sadist." _Well, fuck me sideways._ "I would have an issue with it if you wanted me as a sub… and as you said you see it that way anymore. If I hadn't put it together already I will be freaking out by now, but..." she looked at him with uncertainty and he felt his heart was about to beat out of his chest. "I will trust you when you say you don't see me as someone to punish due to your mother's neglect. You haven't given me a reason not to trust you. Let's make this clear... you don't want me as a sub."

"No, I don't want you as a sub. I would love to play with you," His voice took on a timbre that had her squirming in her seat. No pain, no punishment just pleasure."

"Okay." She croaked.

"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Yes." Her smile lit up the room.

* * *

Jack Hyde couldn't believe it, five weeks after leaving SIP Roach found an investor. He decided to go and grovel for his job back, as much as he hated the idea he didn't have a choice. He couldn't find a job to save his life, every letter he received so far was one of rejection. "Hey, Claire." He greeted with a strained smile.

"Hyde." Claire didn't bother forcing any form of pleasantry.

"I'm here to see Roach."

"He's not in this week…"

"Jack," Elizabeth called surprised to see him.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute." He asked.

"Umm, yeah sure come through." She said hesitantly.

"Is my position still available?" He asked the moment he walked through her office door.

"Yes, but Jack you will not get your job back."

"If it's available what is the issue? I know this place, the authors…"

"All of which you left in a lurch. Worse you didn't turn up for your presentation in New York. I'm afraid there is no way Roach will give you back your job." She informed.

"Well, find a way to get him to hire me back." He threatened.

"And how do you expect me to do that?" She asked feeling dejected.

"Don't know, don't care… just do it." With that, he stormed out but didn't get far.

"Jack Hyde?"

"Yes." He answered a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"I'm arresting you on eight counts of rape, five counts of false imprisonment. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?" Ana came out of her office to find Jack been hauled away as he struggled and protested his innocence.

"You wouldn't know anything about what just happened would you?" Ana asked Christian who seems to be concentrating on his lunch a little too hard.

"I might, though I left it up to Welch to deal with it." He smiled. His life was damn near perfect; his family had looked on with their jaws on the floor when Elliot and Ana revealed they were never dating. Christian couldn't bring himself to be pissed because, in the end, it helped him get out of his own way. He knew at some point he would have to tell his family about Elena. Right now, he was trying to get his head around how he could have allowed himself to be controlled by her for so long. Elena was quiet, but he knew it wouldn't last, but that was a problem for another day.


	5. Chapter 5 Words

**WORDS**

 **Summary:** **A single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing. That's the definition of words, and sometimes they speak louder than actions. What if Ana takes offense at Christian's use of words? ONE-SHOT.**

"Come." I murmur.

"What?" She questions all doe-eyed and perfectly sweet.

"We are going to rectify the situation right now."

"What do you mean? What situation?" She asks.

"Your situation, your virginity."

"Oh, umm… right, that situation. I'm not ready to rectify that situation." The inflection in her voice takes me by surprise, I've angered her, and I don't know how.

"A girl is entitled to change her mind." She says with a shrug.

"Ana BDSM isn't all about…"

"My changing my mind has nothing to do with that room, in fact, tell me about that room and why." I smile widely at her.

Taking her hand, I lead her to the great room and tell her as much about my lifestyle as I can. She takes the contract and to my surprise and annoyance says we can play it by ear. I don't play things by ear, hence the fucking contract. "I have exams and then moving to Seattle, after that I will call you, and we can see when I can come by and you can introduce me to…" she waves her arms around.

"In the meantime, I will like you to at least read the contract. Can I call you or you can call if you have any questions."

"Okay." Her sweet voice answers and I feel myself getting elated.

* * *

I'm not going to lie the wait for my first weekend with Ana has me on edge. She didn't call me not once, and I thought she might have changed her mind. She reassured me during our brief encounter at her graduation. I have a light session in the playroom planned after I take her virginity in my bed. Strangely having her in my bedroom doesn't bother me in the least. The end result is worth sacrificing a few rules for. I was completely shocked and blown away to learn she was a virgin, but as the weeks have gone by… I find the idea very appealing. I am going to be her first; no one has ever been there, and the thought has me feeling positively primeval.

"Sir, Miss Steele is on her way up," Taylor informs me in his usual stoic demeanor. With a nod I dismiss him, I lean against the double door waiting for Ana to arrive. When the elevator doors open I find my memories of her pale in comparison to the girl herself. I haven't seen her since her graduation, and that was far too brief for my liking. "Miss Steele, I am very pleased to see you." I purr.

"Thank you." Her voice sounds flat, and I chalk it down to nerves.

"My housekeeper has prepared a delicious meal of…"

"I have already eaten, since I was going to miss my first weekend in our new home with Kate we had a girls day in with pizza and ice cream." She mumbles looking everywhere but me.

"Right… okay." I take her bag and drop it at the bottom at the stairs. "Come." In my office, I pull out a copy of the contract. "Do you have any questions?"

"I can only do every other weekend." She came in hard, and the thought pleases me. My style of negotiating I have to admit.

"Three weekends a month." I counter. "Anything else.

"Nope." She says popping the p. I look at her flabbergasted.

"Ana, did you read the contract?"

"Yes, and I'm still playing it by ear." She says with a shrug.

"We will take it easy and has you said, you don't like something we nix it." It's actually not a bad idea.

I, Christian Grey should have known it was too easy and too good to be true. Nothing in my life has come easy, and Miss Steele wasn't going to be the exception to the rule.

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Flynn asks barely containing his amusement. "You've had a contract with this girl for three months, and so far there has been no sex."

"That is what I just said," I grunt.

"How?" How indeed.

"Like I said she is a virgin. The first weekend she told me she wasn't ready for sex. I barely saw her all weekend she kept to her room doing god knows what. On the brief occasions I saw her, she was in the kitchen cooking, barely a word left her lips no matter what I tried. She wouldn't look at me…" I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Would only do so if I ordered. Flynn this isn't the girl I met." I growl.

"Maybe that is the point." He mumbles.

"What?"

"Have you stopped to consider that this is why she is behaving this way? You went after her, not just for her, but the biggest part was her personality, you said so yourself. You asked her to be something she wasn't and now that she is doing just that you don't like it. You want her smart mouth, but that smart mouth will get her punished, so she doesn't talk. You want to see those beautiful eyes, but if she looks at you, it will get her punished… the list goes on. What is left is sex and clearly, something that night you did or said had her changing her mind in regards to sex. You can't have it all, you either want a sub or you want Ana. She is not cut out to be a sub, and it shows, she can't find a medium, and that is the way she is.

From what you've learned from Elliot, she is an outgoing, incredibly brilliant girl who is full of compassion and warmth. Deep down that is what you want, but you made it clear you just wanted someone to say yes sir no sir, and you got it, just not the sex. The lack of sex has opened your eyes to exactly how you expect your subs to behave. It is also glaringly obvious because you have seen Ana when she is herself. Even though around you it was muted compared to what you've learned from Elliot, it is still better than the nothing you are getting." Flynn sits back regarding me cautiously.

"That is all well and good, but it doesn't change the fact that in three months I have yet to see her naked," I grumble dismissing everything he just said. I never knew there could be so many ways for a girl to turn you down.

"You can ask her to take it off as her Dom." He counters with a shrug knowing full well I'm not going to force Ana to walk around naked. That will just make an already hard situation even harder.

"I'm not going to do that," I grunt.

"Why is she still your sub, what exactly are you getting out of this. This lifestyle has been about control and relief for you. Where is that in this arrangement? In the beginning, it was getting there first, after the second week, I thought about letting her go, but then the thought of someone like the Clayton boy or the photographer, even the Kavanagh boy getting to be with her first was reason enough to keep the contract going. Then that third weekend without her I found I missed the little I got from her. That little is now just frustration and blue balls with no relief in sight.

I leave Flynn's office no closer to a solution. So what, do I tell Ana she doesn't have to behave like a sub to get her in the playroom. I doubt that... she will see right through the ruse.

I arrive back at the penthouse and Ana is nowhere to be found. Did she forget she had last weekend to herself? I should know I had her followed watching footage of her out with Kate and a friend from SIP. They went for a meal and then to a club, she was laughing and chatty with her friends. A far cry from the girl that graces my presence on occasion during the weekends she is here.

"Miss Steele." I try not to growl but fail spectacularly, but then I realize this is the first time she has given me cause to punish her. Suddenly I can hear my blood pumping in excitement. If she says no to the punishment, I will put an end to this charade.

"Mr. Grey, what can I do for you?" You can bend over and take a spanking that's what you can do for me.

"Have you forgotten it's my weekend?" I ask with a satisfied tone.

"Mr. Grey… the three months renewal is up. Since you said nothing about renewing the contract I thought that was it." I deflate like a balloon in the wind. Shit, how did I forget?

"You are right Miss. Steele. Are you available to discuss it?" I sound like a lovesick pimple faced teenager trying to get the attractive girl to notice him. I made it a point in life to never need anybody. I distanced myself from my family so when they learned my true nature and disowned me, I would not know the difference. These days I'm beginning to think it's a load of horseshit.

"I'm afraid I'm in Montesano at the moment."

"Next weekend it is." I hang up before she can make any excuses not that it stops her from calling me with one. I fall back in my chair and stare at the ceiling in defeat. This is what it must be like to have the shoe on the other foot. I have never had any sub turn me down; in fact, women are usually throwing themselves at me, except this one. She thought I hadn't renewed our contract and she didn't bat an eyelid… went to visit her father and forgot about me. Maybe I should let her go and forget this. Get Elena to… Elena, I really don't need her shit right now. That goddamn woman is getting on my last nerve. The last thing I need is for her to think she is back in my favor. I think it's time GEH separated from the Esclava chain. I'm done with her and her bullshit. Two months ago she had the nerve to bring a sub here knowing full well Ana was here. That was the beginning of the end as far as I'm concerned. I confided in her as usual, and she threw it back in my face. She is intimidated by Ana and is acting like a scorned lover. My keeping Ana around despite the lack of any sexual activity has her thinking I want more with Ana. Sure, I want more with a girl who can't be bothered to say more than two words to me in an entire weekend. I was going to cancel my appointment with Flynn this Friday, but I need clarification on some issues. Maybe it's time to start listening.

Friday night I find myself in front of Ana's building, I take a moment to compose myself before hitting the buzzer. Before anyone answers, a resident leaving the building opens the door. I make my way up the stairs needing those few minutes to find the appropriate words to end things. It's not her fault I forced her into a role that wasn't for her. I knock on the door, and Miss Kavanagh opens the door shocked to see me. "Christian, hmm come in." She steps aside, and I walk into a small but cozy apartment. "Ana is in her room, first door on the right." She informs me with a nod, I make my way to the door and give it a light knock.

"Kate I'm already running late." She says throwing things into her bag.

"It's not Kate," I say amused.

"Mr. Gr… Grey." She mumbles staring at me wide eyed. Probably should have waited till she told me to enter. She is in a tank top and sheer lace panties, the sight is enough to make a grown man cry.

"I like your bedroom," I say looking around. She has an iron wrought bed with a blue homemade blanket draped over the sheets. One wall is full of books, a desk in the corner piled with manuscripts. Life of an editor, she was made an editor after her boss tried to rape her in New York only for his cock to meet her knee in an almighty collision that rendered him useless on the floor yelling abuse at her. He was arrested in New York and jailed for attempted rape. I called in a few favors, and that is where he stayed until further evidence of his past acts against his assistants came to light. He struck a deal with the DA and is spending the next twenty-five years in prison. I didn't want her going on that trip, but it was her weekend and was free to do with as she pleased.

"Thank you, I was just getting ready to come to Escala." This is most I've gotten from her face to face.

"I know… I just… it's clear this isn't for you." She nods in agreement. " I have stubbornly refused to see this for what it is." I run my fingers through my hair. "I should never have pursued you in hopes of you becoming my sub. It's just that as hard as I tried I couldn't... I can't stay away from you. There is something about you that called to me on a visceral level from the moment I laid eyes on you. I want you more than I have ever wanted or needed anybody. The mere sight of you… just knowing you are a few steps away from me is enough to calm me. I have wanted nothing more than to hear you laugh, to see those beautiful eyes of yours shine with joy. To sit and talk about nothing and everything no matter how trivial the topic may be.

I always believed I was too fucked up to be normal, to hope for normal. Every girl deserves to lose her virginity in the most magical way possible with a man doing it not because he finally gets laid, but because he realizes what a gift it is. A gift to be cherished and treated with the reverence it deserves. If more men saw it that way, there wouldn't be so many horror stories of girls losing their virginity." At that moment shame washes over me. "I am sorry for referring to your virginity as a situation to be recti…" before I can finish to my utter shock she jumps on me and attacks my mouth. It takes me a few seconds to react, but I do and savor the moment. My tongue is demanding, and she accommodates me opening her mouth. My tongue probes and massages every corner of her mouth. I take two steps towards her bed and lay her down on it. I pull my jacket off my lips still attached to hers. "Shit."

"What?" she pants looking incredibly needy.

"I don't have any condoms." Hell, I came here to end things.

"Oh, I'm on the shot." She looks shy of all a sudden. How could I have mistaken this for submissiveness?

"Thank fuck." My hands move across her smooth pale legs parting them, I stand between her legs and pull her tank top off. Her breasts bounce slightly, her nipples hard and erect though she tries to cover herself. "Don't… they are perfect, you are beautiful Ana." I mutter reverently.

I take a step back and quickly strip out of my clothes. "I will trust you not to touch my chest and back."

"I won't." She adds a nod for good measure. I run my fingers all over her skin pulling on her nipples earning a whimper for my effort. I help her further onto the bed and hover over her. Our kiss is slow, ardent and possessive, but soon a primal need takes over, and our slow kiss becomes frantic and needy. My hands wander down to her pussy, and I sink a finger in her. Fuck, she is wet, incredibly wet; I add another finger spreading her for me. She wraps her fingers around my hand keeping my fingers there.

"You like that don't you." I tease. She whimpers in response. My fingers work her g spot as my thumb slowly and firmly rub her clit. Her walls clench around my fingers, and soon she cums shuddering under me. "You look so beautiful when you cum." I softly kiss her closed eyes.

I frantically pull my boxers off and line my cock at her entrance. I slowly push in, and soon I am reminded again of her virginity, I feel an overwhelming need to slam straight through it and take her, but my saner self prevails, and I push firmly against it, and soon it yields. She still gasps at the pain.

"Fuck… Ana." I groan at how tight she is. I pull out slowly and push back in till she gets use to the intrusion. I pull out and push back in a lot firmer eliciting a moan from Ana. I pick up speed, and she goes with me meeting me thrust for thrust whimpering and moaning. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I sink further into her. I drive harder and faster into her, no longer holding back and neither is she. She moans louder, my name somewhere in her gabble. I take a nipple into my mouth, and she tightens around me, she is close to her second orgasm.

"Cum baby, I will give you more," I growl. I pick up the pace again and set her off. Her fingers grip my hair as she cums. I follow with one last thrust; it has been so long I struggled to hold my body above hers and drop my weight on her with a loud sigh of satisfaction.

I roll off catching my breath. "Next time I will take my time, savor your body." It had been so long all my plans went out the window.

"I'm not complaining. That was so much better than I expected." She says with a giggle. Flynn was right, calling her virginity a situation to be rectified was the reason she changed her mind about sleeping with me. I don't blame her as words go… it was the wrong choice of words, that coupled with BDSM… and well I nearly lost her that night.

"Here I thought you came over to tell me you were ending the contract." She chuckles.

"I was… and then I saw you, and well I realized what I wanted. I've known it since you fell into my office, but I was too stubborn to admit it." I turn on my side and look down at her. "So you didn't want me to end the contract?" I ask surprised considering the lack of reaction from her when she thought I wasn't renewing it.

"No, and if you did I would have told you why I… anyway, I take it you figured it out." She smiles at me. "I didn't think I had it in me, there were so many times I almost said fuck it and gave in. That is why I kept my distance and didn't talk to you; if I had, I would have given in. I could barely look at you." She looks so adorable.

"And here I thought you were behaving as a sub should." I chuckle.

"No, I haven't got a submissive bone in my body." Don't I know it.

"I was so hung up on the BDSM I didn't think it was anything I said. I figured it out eventually." Three months later. God, I can be stupid at times.

"So, you don't want me as your sub?"

"You are not a sub, and the last three months have thought me something. As long as I have you, BDSM can kick rocks."


	6. Chapter 6 Anatomy of a Lie

**ANATOMY OF A LIE**

 **Summary: What if Christian lied to Ana about who Elena really was. TWO SHOT.**

 **CHRISTIAN**

"Ana please… please let me explain." She turns around and to my surprise slaps me. Frankly, the pain doesn't register, there is a visceral level of fear churning in my gut, the likes of which I have never known.

"Explain…. you have an explanation as to why you lied to me about who she was from the get go. You stood in front of me… looked me in the eye and told me she wasn't the pedophile. Despite what you said I knew who she was the moment she touched you in that salon. I knew, and you looked me in the eye and lied to me again. You want to be friends with a pedophile that is fine, but my son and I will not be around as long as she is." She sneers in disgust.

"No Ana she is not, I cut ties with her months ago…. I told her I wanted nothing to do with her." I sound as desperate as I feel. She is going to leave me I know it unless I find a way to salvage this I will lose her.

"Christian, what is going on?" Mom asks the question they all want to ask. I don't have time for this; Ana is walking away.

"Mom, not now." I run after her and find her getting in the car. "Ana… Ana, please don't leave me. I know I fucked up, but please I knew you didn't understand and I don't blame you… at the time I thought she helped me." I see the pity in her eyes when she finally looks at me. I hate been pitied, I am Christian Grey, you don't pity a man like me, but right now I don't care.

"For months I have sat at the same table with her eating, talking treating her like a human being even though I knew there was something wrong with her. You knew how I felt and you wilfully allowed me to be in her presence. God, Christian as much as I hated it I understood, I understood why you thought she helped you. It's what pedophiles do best; they make you think they have your best interest at heart when really they are just sucking the life out of you. I understood, what I do not understand and will not forgive is you lying to me for the better part of a year."

I hear footsteps behind me and see my family and Elena fucking Lincoln of all people watching on. Her look is pleading, begging me not to out her. Of course, all she cares about is herself, my life is falling apart, and all she cares about is her place in society. Without my mom she is toast.

"Christian, who is Ana referring to as a pedophile?" she already knows but doesn't want to believe it.

"Really Grace." Ana sneers. "Whom am I referring to? You already know, so why are you asking? Then again she molested your child for six years and as a doctor, a pediatrician no less you didn't see it. Your son… overnight changes after you sent him to her house to remove rubble and you don't question it. Now you are standing here asking stupid questions. Questions you should have asked thirteen years ago. The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew there was something foul about her… how could you not see the evil pouring out of that thing?" With that, she gets in the car, and Sawyer shuts the door.

It's taking every effort for my mom to remain standing. She looks at me in disbelief and guilt. Ana's words are swimming through her mind. She believes those words, words I know Ana didn't mean. She is furious and right now anyone in her way will feel the brunt of that anger.

A loud scream yanks me out of my musings, and I find Mia Grey on top of Elena throwing one punch after another all to her face. Elliot can lift Mia up with no effort and yet he appears to be struggling to get Mia off Elena. In reality, he really is making no effort to get Mia away from her. Dad finally snaps out of his shock to stop Mia from killing Elena, but not quick enough. Mia places a well-placed heel kick to the side of Elena's nose horrifically breaking it. She started taking self-defense lessons after the Hyde incident and has made good use of it.

"You stupid little bitch… I am going to kill you." Elena spits out, and I mean spits out as blood is pouring out of her nose into her mouth. "I am pressing charges…"

"No, you won't." Mom finally speaks. "To press charges, you will have to divulge why Mia attacked you in the first place." The look of satisfaction on Elena's face disappears in a split second when she realizes the truth in my mom's words.

"For your own sake, I suggest you get off my property as I am barely holding on to my daughter," Dad says in near whisper. We all watch her scurry away to her car. I asked her to stay away, but she just wouldn't listen, and now my life may be over. "You have some explaining to do, but right now you have a marriage to save so I suggest you go after your wife," Dad advises.

The drive home is taking forever and a day. I knew this day would come, the minute I lied about Elena the first time I knew this day will come. I saw the disgust in her eyes when I said I was fifteen and my mother's friend introduced me to the lifestyle. I had feared it would be one revelation too much, so I said the woman died years ago when she asked if I still saw her.

Every dinner we attended was Ana taking one step closer to finding out. I knew one day my mom would say too much… reveal too much. The minute she said she sent me to Elena when I was fifteen I knew Ana had put it together. I had a chance to come clean the first time she saw Elena at Esclava, and instead, I dug a deeper hole for myself.

* * *

"ANA."

"She is in the library," Gail informs me. I take the steps two at a time and barge into her office and library." She is sat on the chaise lounge, Kindle in one hand as she rubs her stomach with the other. She is due in a month and if I don't find a way to save my marriage my kid will come into this world to divorced parents.

"Ana…"

"I am too angry right now to see reason. There is nothing you can say to make this right. There is nothing you can say that I will believe. You have lied to me for a year about something you knew I felt strongly about. I am questioning everything you ever told me. I am going over every conversation wondering if any of it is true. If you can lie about her what else have you lied to me about? Let's not forget when I told you I was pregnant you run to her… the pedophile." Fuck… I forgot about that, strangely it was that night that changed my view of Elena. "You asked me to trust you, and in the next breath, you lied to me. You lied to me the very night I gave you my virginity. My faith and trust in you have been shaken to the core. Leave me alone… the sight of you just angers me. I suggest you move to the guest room." Her monotonous tone is doing more to scare me than anything else.

I am beginning to realize the mountain I have to climb to somehow earn her forgiveness. Flynn warned me and warned me until he was blue in the face. I just never expected one lie to morph into another until it became so big there was no coming back from it.

How can I possibly save my marriage?


	7. Chapter 7 Anatomy of a Lie

Trust is like a priceless vase you break, no matter how brilliant the restoration, it will never take away the knowledge that you once broke that vase. If you also happen to look closely enough, you will see the cracks in it.

As much as I would like to heap this entire mess on Elena's shoulders, I can't. I chose to lie to Ana, even when she caught me the morning of the Coping Together gala I continued to perpetuate the lie. I told her she was behaving irrationally and gave her a long list of reasons why Elena was not a pedophile. That was my moment; that was the moment to come clean, and I chose to continue lying. I knew Elena had no respect for my marriage, she proved it the night Ana told me she was pregnant. She came onto a married man. Then again why will she respect my marriage when she was fully aware of the fact that I was lying to my wife the entire time.

That night I realized Ana and Flynn had been right all along. Ana once asked me how I would feel if I had a child and they went through what I went through with the pedophile. Sitting at that table as she tried to lure me in once again. I finally knew how wrong she was. How wrong I had been to defend her, lying to my wife in the process. I made the decision to come clean then, but then Ana saw the text from Elena and well… all hell broke lose. How worse would it have been had she known who Elena truly was?

I could blame it all on the little arguments about a woman who as far as Ana was concerned was dead, and Hyde, Leila, and many other things but in the end, it was all me.

A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. "Come in."

"Mr. Grey, Would you like something to eat?" Frankly, food is the last thing on my mind, but needs must and all.

"Did Ana eat?"

"She did," Gail informs me sadly.

"How do I fix this?" I look up at Gail. "How do you get a wife to forgive her husband when he has lied the entire duration of their courtship?" If the shoe had been on my foot, I don't think I could forgive her.

"You could start with separating yourself from the Lincoln woman." Gail sneers.

"I did that months ago, but she wouldn't stay away." I lament.

"Right now… your words hold very little value. If I were in your position, Elena Lincoln would be presented on a wrench ready to be roasted alive. I will bring your meal in shortly." With that, she leaves me be.

I force my meal down with great difficulty and some time after ten I make my way upstairs. I walk to the master bedroom and remember I have been relegated to the guest room. I have no desire to spend the night in the cold surroundings of that room. There are no pictures of us on our wedding day or our days spent on The Grace. There are no personal mementos from our time together. There is nothing in that room that says I'm sharing my life with another. The guestroom feels and looks like my life before Ana. I'm making my way back to the office when I run into Taylor, a thought occurs to me.

* * *

"She's on the phone," Barney informs us. I ask for the earphones and listen in on her.

" _If she stays with him it will be a miracle."_ I can guess whom she's speaking to. This has always been Elena's problem. Every time she thinks she has succeeded in something someone has to know, in the past it was yours truly, and now it's Isaac. Since I can't hear him, it's safe to say she is on the phone. _"It has taken months, but Grace finally said the magic words and little miss clever put it together. Despite the broken nose and horrifically bruised face it was worth it. She will leave him, and he will revert to that disruptive boy he was and come back to me. For a man that clever lying to her was about the stupidest thing he could do and now…"_ I agree with her on that count.

"Let's go." Barney opens her gate, and Reynolds drives the van in. She changed her codes months ago and at the time I didn't think anything of it, but now I know why. My suspicions will soon be confirmed. I knock on her door.

She takes her damn time opening the door and when she does it takes every fiber of my being to look impassive instead of the anger I feel. She looks fucked up… Mia did a number on her face. "Christian, this is a surprise." I can hear the elation in her voice even though she can't express it.

"I needed to talk to someone," I say with a defeated sigh.

"Come in." She says removing the pack from her broken nose. Shit must hurt as she winces. She minute she turns around I plunge the syringe into her neck. She crumbles on the floor before she can turn around.

Forty-five minutes later I throw a bucket of freezing water on her, and she splutters awake. She looks around and finds herself strapped to the bed in her own dungeon. "Christian, what are you…" I place my palm over her mouth, and she struggles to breathe. Her busted nose is struggling to drag air into her lungs.

"You do not utter a word until I give you permission. Am I clear." She nods though I can see the fury radiating off her. She is not in any position to do much about it. I plunge another syringe into her left bicep, and she hisses in pain. "That is a tracking device. It is now floating around in your bloodstream. It is linked to the GEH communication satellite… there is no hiding from it. Hide in a hole in Mongolia and I will find you. I asked you to stay away, but you couldn't help yourself, you just kept turning up hoping Grace will say something that will clue Ana in. You finally got your wish." I sneer.

"Your mothe…" I place my hand over her mouth again.

"I don't care if my mother threatened you. You should have stayed away. Someone gave me a piece of advice tonight..."

"Christian, please..." This time my fingers pinch her broken nose, and she howls in pain.

"I am still talking." She tears up due to the pain. "In some old civilizations... a man will be laid out on a ceremonial slab, the priests will cut out his heart while he was still alive before his head was hacked off to appease the Gods. Ana is my God and she needs appeasing." Her eyes widen in fear, the bitch actually thinks I'm going to kill her. "Death is too good for you. I pull the Esclava contract from my back pocket. This is your life in every sense of the word. For once I am glad you didn't listen and got your own legal council. This is my copy of the contract and the one from legal, I have your copy as well. Without this paperwork, Esclava is still mostly mine." Right before her eyes I set it on fire.

"You stupid son of a whore you can't do that. I worked for that salon, I am the reason it is what it is today. It is mine…" I put a strip of duct tape over her mouth shutting her up. She struggles to breathe until Taylor wrenches her nose back in place. She groans in pain, but she can breathe just fine.

"You think you are in pain, this is nothing." Taylor loosens the straps on her legs flipping her over before tying it back in place.

"All these years putting up with your abuse and condescension, had I known this would have been my payback I would saved myself the hours of talking Gail's ears off." He pulls the duct tape off and walks over to the belts and picks up the thick black leather belt.

"Christian… Christian, please… I'm sorry…" Her voice shakes with fear.

"Oh, you will be," Taylor says with a chuckle that leaves me cold. I walk out shutting the door, but still hear the first scream that leaves her.

* * *

A week after my yearlong lie was revealed; Ana has barely said two words to me. Well, actually it was precisely two words 'go away.' I have barely been to work and have been lurking about the house hoping she is ready to talk. "Are you responsible for this." I look up surprised to find her talking to me.

"Sorry…what?"

"This." She turns the iPad in my direction.

" _Seattle socialite Elena Lincoln was arrested this morning for what sources tell us is child pornography. Police apparently received a tip from someone working for Lincoln claiming they had seen pictures and videos on her laptop. It is believed the authorities found hundreds of pictures in her safe; most of the pictures it's believed were taken in a BDSM dungeon found in Lincoln's townhouse. It appears the_ Seattle _…"_

Yes." Is my simple answer. While Elena was out cold, Barney took the pictures Elena had of me and scanned them into her laptop not before scratching out my face. That was why she changed the codes to her gate. She knew I was aware of the pictures and thought since I cut ties with her I would most likely break in and take them. We found a few more pictures and videos on the dark web and planted those on her computer. As far as Elena was concerned the only thing we did was take the pictures pertaining to me and destroying the contract giving her sole ownership of Esclava; that and Taylor doing a number on her back with that belt. It was all a distraction till the police arrested her, we couldn't have her figuring it out. I knew Elena enough to know she would go through her house top to bottom to find if I left or planted anything. From the camera's we planted we know she never left the house until her arrest. Hell, the ridiculously expensive tracker in her wasn't needed in the end. She called a doctor friend of hers to come stitch up her back and dress it.

She turns to leave my office… "Ana…"

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Well, fuck me sideways.

"No." Another lie is never leaving my lips.

"At least you are honest about that." She mumbles walking out. I take heart in the fact that she hasn't left me… yet.

Teddy arrived a week early, and we all knew why although no one mentioned it. I thought Ana would apologize to mom. Instead, mom apologized, as well as dad… he had some preconceived notions about Ana and found himself feeling incredibly guilty. Apparently, if he had a little more faith in me things might have been different. My entire family is blaming themselves for my actions and my decisions... as if I didn't feel rotten enough.

Teddy's arrival should have a joyous occasion instead it was marred by my lies and deceit. Ana and I are talking although it's all about Teddy and nothing but Teddy. I heard Ana talking to Mia, and she doesn't know if she can get passed it. I have ripped apart everything she thought she knew in regards to me. Mia asked her to ask her anything she wanted to know about me. Ana asked her if after everything that happened Mia still thinks she knows me. My sister didn't respond, which pretty much answered the question. Elena always led me to believe my family would hate me should they ever learn the truth. This hurt and guilt they feel never once crossed my mind. It doesn't matter what I say they feel in some way responsible. Elliot feels he should have seen it, Mia thinks she should have forced me to spend more time with them. Despite everything Ana doesn't blame me, she just can't get past the lies.

I am following Flynn's advice as hard as that is to do. I am giving Ana her space, I am not pushing her to talk nor do I expect to be allowed back in the marital bed anytime soon. Teddy's gurgling snaps me out of my forlorn mood. "What is it buddy?" he just gurgles some more in response. I'm sure in his brain he gave me a perfectly understandable response. "I wish I understood then maybe you can advise me on what to do to save my marriage. I think your mother is going to leave me, and I have... no idea what… to do." I wipe my tears away in anger. _Why the fuck are you crying? You are not the hurt party here._

"I'm not leaving you." Before I can sit up, she walks further into the room. "If I were leaving I would have done so already. Despite everything my feelings for you haven't changed. I don't trust you, and I hate that feeling. Do you have any idea what it's like to question everything someone has ever told you?" Yes, I do.

"With the exception of Elena, I never lied about anything else. There were so many times I wanted to tell you and every time I found a convenient excuse to keep my mouth shut. I meant it and still do when I say I love you, there is no lie in that." She tries lifting Teddy off my chest who whimpers and struggles in her arms till she puts him back down on my chest.

"Really, Teddy." She ruffles his hair, and he starts chatting nonsense again. "Mia asked to babysit this weekend I told her she can… we need to talk. You need to assure me of a lot of things."

"Yes anything, I mean it anything." I can feel the elation in my voice. Patience really is a virtue.

Friday night both Elliot and Mia came to pick Teddy up. Strangely I felt like it was it if I couldn't convince my wife of my love and devotion notwithstanding the lies she would leave me. Despite what she said she would leave me. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine. "I thought since you wouldn't be nursing you would like a drink," I mumble when she walks in.

"Yes, that would be great." She brushes past me and grabs two glasses. She smells divine, vanilla and her unique scent. It has been so long since we had sex and my body is beginning to feel the effects.

"Remember when you came to Savannah?" Her question surprises me.

"Yes, I didn't think you would be happy to see me, but I couldn't function with you so far away." And Elena convinced me to go.

"Remember the argument we had?"

"We somehow ended up talking about my introduction to BDSM… you asked me how I would feel if my child went through what I went through."

"That was me… giving you another chance to come clean." So we are having that conversation. "Deep down I knew you weren't telling me the entire story, but I could never figure it out. Seeing Elena the first time I knew it was her, despite that spiel you gave me I knew it. You know what threw me… your parents, as a doctor and a lawyer surely they would be able to tell. There was something off about her and if I could tell they had to be able to see it as well. I mean Mia couldn't stand her, Elliot thought she was creepy, and Carrick tolerated her. Grace, I got the impression felt sorry for her, but then who feels sorry for a pedophile? I thought whatever it was it couldn't be as bad as her being a child molester." She slams the wine glass down and jumps off the kitchen stool.

"Do you have any idea how much I want to kick the shit out of you?" She growls. I move to stand, and her glare stops me. "That would not change the fact that you have lost my trust and faith in you."

"Ana, please tell me what to do. Whatever you want and need I would do it… anything to earn your trust again."

"You are a long way from you earning back my trust."

"Ana, I love you, and I am sorry… I was afraid that first night you would walk away. I had already unloaded so much and I felt telling the truth about Elena would be the straw that broke the camel's back. That Saturday morning I had just got you back and again I was afraid. Through the entirety of this marriage I have just been waiting for the moment it would be too much, and you would walk away. I am a walking fuck up on so many levels, and I don't deserve you. All I kept thinking was my defending Elena would be it. That night when you told me you were pregnant, I expected to find you gone in the morning, I behaved and said some appalling things. I also realized just how much she had taken from me and worse I continued to let her. I am still scared, and I don't think it will ever truly leave me. It doesn't matter how many times you tell me you are not leaving. I am waiting for you to leave and take Teddy with you. Who would blame you if you left? " There it is, the sad ugly truth.

She sits back down and stares me in disbelief. "Oh Christian… what am I going to do with you?" she whispers.

"Don't leave me." I plead. "I swear on my love for you and Teddy never will another lie leave my lips again." I implore her.

"You are damn right you will never lie to me again." She drains her glass and releases a loud sigh. "I love you, Christian… more than any amount of words can express that is why this hurts so much."

"I love you too." She stares at me and says nothing.

After what feels like an eternity she speaks. "I have an appointment with Dr. Green on Wednesday I would like you to accompany me."

"Of course." That night I was finally allowed back into the marital bedroom much to my delight. Wednesday comes, and Ana is given the all clear, meaning sex is back on the menu. Except, I was still in the doghouse on that front.

Four and half months after I thought my world had fallen apart Ana has got a look of lust in her eyes. I am patient but fuck this shit is hard... literally. We are sleeping in the same bed, I wake up wrapped around her like a vine and a hard on to end all hard on. Another week of this and my dick is likely to fall off. Flynn says I should be prepared to go for a while without sex, as sex requires a great deal of trust for someone like Ana and right now trust is an issue. She gave me her trust so easily the first time and now well I have to earn it. Ana has never been one for materialistic things, so I have had to work hard to earn her forgiveness. Although she says she has forgiven me, I am not taking shit for granted. I made her breakfast in bed… well, two slices of burnt and ripped toast, I did get the tea spot on if I do say so myself. There was the picnic in the meadow with a giggling Teddy. Who knew my attempt to sing in falsetto would have the boy giggling until he was drooling and had snot running down his face. I think that did more to earn me brownie points than the picnic itself.

"Christian, you are going to be late," Ana says when she finds me still at the breakfast bar.

"Honestly, I have no desire to go back to work," I say with a dejected sigh.

"You've wanted this company for months, and they are finally ready to negotiate." She says straightening.

"I don't care." I sound like a petulant little shit.

"You may not, but Roz will skin you alive if you don't show up." She says with a giggle.

"You are right." I concede.

"You'll be home before you know it." She leans in and gives me a quick kiss, which has been about as close as we get to sex for the last week. Except she doesn't pull away and deepens the kiss, she presses herself into me as our kiss becomes frantic and needy. Months of sexual anger is being poured into it… someone clears their throat several times breaking us apart.

Taylor… someone better be dying." My voice is hoarse... tinged with lust.

"You are running late." He says looking impassive as ever.

"I will meet you at the car," I say in disbelief. The man has been privy to the happenings in this house and yet he makes the decision to interrupt a pivotal moment.

"You do have to go… I will be here when you get back. I will see if Gail will take Teddy for the night." I know what that means.

"Really." I sound incredibly eager because I am and she giggles.

"Yes, really." She purrs licking the shell of my ear. "You earn back my trust by us living our lives. Let me make one thing clear… lie to me again, and you will rue the day you agreed to have Katherine Kavanagh interview you."

"I understand… more than you know." I say rather shamefully.

"Good, get Roz her deal and bring your sweet ass back here. I've got a cock to ride." Well, fuck me, as if I will be able to think of anything else.


	8. Chapter 8 Guns and Roses

GUNS AND ROSES

Summary: What if Ana had called the police when she encountered Leila at her apartment? One Shot

CHRISTIAN

"Good Afternoon detectives Carter and Wilson." I greet them cordially. All this could have been avoided had Ana not called the police.

"Mr. Grey." The lead detective greets, the young one simply nods.

"We have a few things we need to clear up… we will try and get out of your hair as quick as we can." Carter says opening his notebook.

"When did you first find out that Miss Williams was stalking you?"

"Around mid-May, it came up in a security briefing that Miss Williams had being spotted several times outside GEH and Escala," I answer wondering where this is going.

"We also understand that at the end of May… while in Georgia Miss Williams made a shallow cut to her wrist in front of your housekeeper."

"Yes, that is correct. Mrs. Jones took her to the hospital, but she got away after treatment."

"When did you realize she had become a threat?" The inflection in his voice has me sitting up.

"In June I found out she had been granted a permit for a firearm, the following day she vandalized my girlfriend's car."

"Your girlfriend being Miss. Anastasia Rose Steele?" He asks checking his notes at the same time.

"Yes," I say exasperated.

"Why did you not report the vandalism?"

"Miss Williams is mentally unwell I didn't think involving the law was in her best interest." That should be obvious.

"On what grounds did you make that determination?" Carter asks giving me a less than impressed look.

"Her behavior." I bark.

"Did it ever occur to you she may have been pretending. Her behavior got your attention, and moreover, you didn't call us when it became apparent that Miss. Steele was in danger from her." I shift in my seat not liking where this is going.

"She wasn't," I growl with confidence.

"Hours after the vandalism you discovered Miss Williams was in your apartment. She was stood at the foot of your bed while your girlfriend slept. Your entire security team has yet to determine how a mentally unwell girl broke into your apartment. A mentally unwell girl beat your state of the art security system. You have guys that worked counter-terrorism with the Feds on your team… former Marines and two of the best when it comes to all things related to computers…" When he puts it that way, I can see the doubt. "Despite all this, you believed Miss. Williams to be unwell and therefore did not report her numerous threatening behavior. She somehow got around all this and not once did you question her state of mind."

At the time I…" He doesn't let me finish.

"Let's say, Miss. Williams is really mentally unwell." Carter sits up and stares at me without blinking. "You didn't think you had a duty to report a mentally unwell individual in possession of a firearm. You had information no one else had and you kept to yourself. You are not duty bound to report everything suspicious or threatening, but why wouldn't you when it's someone you love?" I close my eyes trying to figure out how none of this occurred to me. Here I am pissed at Ana for calling the cops when I should have done that from the get-go.

"How is your relationship with Miss Steele?" What! Why is he asking?

"Before the incident, we were damn right perfect." A feeling of melancholy settles over me like a dark cloud.

"From we heard on the 911 call you were infuriated at Miss. Steele for calling the cops."

"Like I said I didn't think it was necessary." My confidence in that decision has deserted me.

"And that was your only reason?" He asks, and I level a menacing glare at him.

"What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything… I'm wondering why a man as brilliant as you will not report Miss. Williams despite the threat to your girlfriend. Your reason for not involving us does not hold water, Mr. Grey. Quite plainly, I'm wondering if this was an opportunity to get rid of your girlfriend."

"GET THE FUCK OUT." I roar bolting up from my seat. "Have you taken leave of your senses?" This has got to be some kind of joke.

"Put yourself in our position and look at the facts." For the first time, Detective Wilson speaks. "A woman you claim is unwell has made numerous threats to your girlfriend, and yet you don't report it effectively getting help. You can't find her, worse she is in your apartment and you still can't find her. Forgive me Mr. Grey, but this whole thing smells fishy." They really think I wanted Leila to kill Ana.

"As valid as your points are… it was simply an egregious error on my part and nothing more. I have no reason to want Ana dead, we are not married where she is divorcing me and taking half of my fortune. She is not pregnant and insists on keeping it though I don't want it. Yeah, you've made me feel incredibly stupid, but you have also failed to provide a motive." I say calmly. "You can show yourselves out. The next time you want to talk to me contact my lawyer Carrick Grey."

I deflate in my chair the moment the door shuts behind them. Fuck, they really think I wanted Ana dead. Last night I was so fucking angry that she called the cops... I said some unflattering things. I wanted to deal with Leila quietly… get her help, and now I'm wondering if she was mentally unbalanced after all.

Ana had been so clever to call 911 the minute Leila pulled the gun on her. I heard the tape this morning at the station; she was brilliant in talking Leila down. Instead of praising her I berated her and attributed her action to jealousy… God, I'm an idiot.

She didn't come home last night, and her phone was left at her old apartment. I don't know where she is… fuck, I hope she hasn't left me. I have barely slept and can't concentrate on a damn thing. I really fucked up; I should have reported the first incident and washed my hands off her. In hindsight, she left me years ago, how the fuck am I walking around bearing responsibility for her breakdown.

My phone rings, and it's Barney. "Sir, Miss. Steele's phone is back on." Thank fuck for that. I am going to need a miracle to get her to forgive me. I don't deserve it. But damn it I want it.


	9. Chapter 9 My Wife, My Sub

**MY WIFE, MY SUB**

 **Summary: What if after going out with Kate when she promised she wouldn't, Christian comes home to find his anger is no match for his wife's anger after she finds out he had kept so much from her. One Shot.**

She went out with Kate after I told her not to… and she promised she wouldn't and yet I find out that she did. Sitting here waiting for her to wake up I'm not sure how I feel. Yes, I'm angry she disobeyed me, but at the same time I'm relieved she defied me because had she stayed in Hyde would still be on the loose. Ryan only allowed Hyde up because Ana was safe and with security… three of them might I add.

She is lying so far on the edge of her side of the bed when I first walked in I was scared she'd fall off at any minute, but on closer inspection, there was ample space between her and the edge of the mattress. It almost feels as though she doesn't want to be anywhere near me. She stirs and turns facing the glass of orange juice and Advil. She sits up throws the covers off her and without remotely acknowledging my presence she makes her way to the bathroom shuts the door and before I can move a muscle locks it.

She saw me, I know it and yet ignored me. Is she mad at me? I wasn't the one that made a promise and broke it.

I sit in the same chair waiting for her to emerge from the bathroom. I realize I'm not a patient man and now my anger is rising to dangerous levels. I'm so tempted to drag into the playroom and cane her ass red raw, but she's not my sub. Eventually, she emerges and again ignores me and waltzes into the closet.

I stand from the chair and match in after her.

"Ana." She turns looking at me and says nothing before grabbing a pencil skirt of the rail. "You promised me…" I sound furious and it has no effect on her. I might just as well not be here.

"And I changed my mind." She retorts with no emotion. What the hell is going on here?

"With little regard for the security ramifications," I growl.

"Well, considering I had no idea that security had been stepped up for all the Greys. I had no idea there was a significant threat… you generally overreact when it comes to my safety. I do understand, but you are like the boy crying wolf. I never know when there is a real threat or just your idea of a threat. Had I known things were so dangerous to the extent that every single person including Kate now had security you bet your ass I would be glued to the penthouse."

"So, It's my fault," I ask with a humorless chuckle.

"Yes." She says without hesitation shocking me. "Do you have any idea how small I felt finding out Kate knows more about what is going on with you than I do." Her voice breaks and my anger drains out of me. "Last time I checked, I am your wife, but turns out you don't see me that way. I have never felt so small in my life, and you have the gall to stand there angry at me because I didn't tell you I changed my mind when you've kept me in the dark the entire time we've been married." She quickly wipes away the tear before it falls. "I guess I shouldn't bother asking you what Hyde wanted." She shoves past me and walks out of the bedroom.

As much as I hate to admit it if she knew the true extent of Hyde's threat she would have stayed home and even then with that many security personnel in the penthouse we would have still caught Hyde. Saying that I also know that is not a chance they would have taken, and Hyde would still be out there somewhere. In the end, it was a good thing Ana wasn't in the penthouse, and yet I'm angry because I didn't get my way… because she changed her mind. She's my wife, not my sub.

By the time I arrive in the dayroom, Ana is nowhere to be found. "Mrs. Jones, where is Ana?"

"She just left for work, sir." I nod and head to my office. This is not how I expected my morning to go.

For the better part of the day I tried composing an email, something that would get us talking, but nothing constructive came to me. Everything I wrote seemed to be embedded in anger. Truth was… I wasn't quite sure who I was angry with, Ana or myself. She was right had she known what was happening she would not have gone out. Fucking Kavanagh… why couldn't she keep her mouth shut?

 _How was she to know you kept your wife out of the loop._

I can tell myself that it was for her own good that I kept her in the dark, but in hindsight keeping her in the dark put her more at risk. I can admit to myself I was wrong, and yet I am finding it difficult to compose an email saying just that.

After another ten minutes, I give up and shut down the computer. I text Taylor to let him know I'm ready to leave.

When I arrive at Escala, I don't see Ana's car, I guess she's still at SIP. The ride to the penthouse takes an age even though I'm not that eager to get there. Gail is in the kitchen as usual, she barely spares me a glance as she goes about her duties. I lock myself in the office knowing I needed to think and before long I know just what I need to do. I quickly race to the bedroom and change into my playroom jeans. If there was one place that helped me clear my mind it was the playroom. We needed to reconnect, and that was it. I have Taylor and Gail clear out just before Ana arrives.

I'm standing by the piano as she walks into the great room. "Good evening Mrs. Grey," I say softly. Her eyes trail over me landing on my jeans.

"I'm going to take a shower, get something to eat then we can talk." She says as she walks towards the bedroom. I did not see that response coming.

"Ana, we need to reconnect." I implore her.

"No… connecting has never been our problem. What we need is to talk, not _fuck_." She says the word fuck with such disdain my jaw drops. I find myself rooted to the spot for a few minutes before I follow her into the bedroom. I make my way into the closet and change into a pair of jeans and head back out. I feel out of control, and my only means of gaining some measure of it has just been vetoed.

"Yes, I should have told you I had changed my mind and was going out with Kate. Let's compare that one omission to your long list, and I really don't think you have a leg to stand on here. So get off your fucking high horse." She says as she takes another bite of her chicken.

"Watch it, Ana," I warn.

"Watch it, watch what. I kept one thing from you… one. How many things going on in my life that I know nothing about? Where the fuck do you get off been angry about anything? My actions are a direct result of yours. Can you tell me otherwise?" I don't answer. "That's what I thought. I just realized I have simply traded one contract for another or at least that is how you view it. This is a marriage, a partnership, but you don't see it that way, you see as a contract that allows to you dictate my life all the damn time. Well, guess what… it ends today. If you want me to listen to a word you have to say you better start treating me as your wife and not your fucking sub."

"Ana, it is for your own protection…" I start.

"Say those words one more time… I dare you to utter those fucking words one more goddamn time." She shouts and I am taken aback by her anger.

Realizing I have little choice, I tell her everything from Hyde been implicated in the sabotage of Charlie Tango, his coming here to kidnap her. The files Barney found on the server. I tell her about the connection to Detroit and I realize she had no knowledge that my life started in Detroit. I realize we truly do not communicate and for the first time I can admit out loud it is my fault. I only impart information when I think she needs to know. I am treating her like I did my subs, only talking to them when I felt necessary.

"I am your wife, not your sub and if you don't start treating me as such your life will become unbearable." She doesn't wait for a response as she turns on her heels and heads for the library.

Yes, she is my wife, not my sub.


End file.
